The War Won’t Save You: Trump’s Desperate Distraction Is Failing

By Rob C.

Art by Dave Whamond

TL;DR: “Operation Epic Fury” is officially the most expensive magic trick in history. While the U.S. “investigates” why its Tomahawk missiles just murdered 145 children in an Iranian primary school, the true objective is clear: keep the unredacted Epstein files off the front page. He’s burning through $11.4 billion in ammunition in three days just to hide the fact that investigators are finally digging up Epstein’s Zorro Ranch—something his administration blocked back in 2019. Israel keeps bombing Lebanese civilians, and more US “war fighters” are dead. With the Strait of Hormuz closed and gas prices spiking 30%, the economy craters—fuel, food, energy, and housing all skyrocketing—while Trump sacrifices your kids to hide from damning evidence. Ayatollah Complaini is threatening our way of life to protect the Epstein class—the billionaires who abuse children, dodge taxes, and operate above the law, and they’re willing to start WWIII to stay out of an Orange jumpsuit.

The war won’t save you, Donald.

Trump is desperate. Flailing. Throwing everything he can at the wall to distract Americans from the truth about his crimes in the Epstein files. He started a war. He’s killing children. He’s bankrupting the country. He’s watching American soldiers die. And it’s not working. The truth is coming out anyway.

It’s March 2026, and the “Great Distraction” has officially turned into a meat grinder. For those of you just tuning in, our “war/not a war” with Iran has hit a new, horrific milestone. While the corporate media was busy sanitizing the destruction, a U.S. Tomahawk missile—reportedly guided by obsolete data—slammed into a girls’ primary school in Minab. School Children blown apart by American bombs because Trump needed a distraction.

145 children Murdered. Donald Trump’s immediate response? “Iran did it.” It’s the same old song: blame the victim while the Pentagon quietly admits it was our “targeting mistake.” The Pentagon called it “collateral damage.” But 145 children are dead. Their families know. The world knows. And no amount of propaganda can erase that blood from American hands.

More US soldiers are dead. Sorry, “war fighters”—because that sounds so much more “alpha” for Hegseth’s TikTok brigade than admitting we’re sacrificing American lives for Netanyahu’s expansion plans and Trump’s criminal cover-up. The death toll keeps rising. Families get flag-draped coffins. Trump poses for photos looking “strong.”

And none of it—none of it—is making the Epstein revelations go away.

The War: A Catastrophic Failure

In just the first three days of this “Dick Swinging Contest,” you, the taxpayer, have shelled out $11.4 billion. That is strictly for the ammunition being dumped into the desert. That’s $11.4 billion that could have funded schools, healthcare, infrastructure. Instead, it’s rubble in the Iranian desert and dead children in bombed-out buildings.

Meanwhile, Iran has effectively closed the Strait of Hormuz. Tanker traffic has ground to a halt. Twenty percent of the world’s oil supply isn’t flowing. Gas prices have spiked 30% and climbing.

Trump’s brilliant strategy of bombing Iran has given them exactly the leverage they need to strangle the global economy. Winning!

The Distraction Tax:

Let’s talk about how Trump’s war of distraction just keeps getting better. (Yeah, right.)

Gas prices have spiked 30% and are still climbing. Every time you fill your tank, you’re paying Trump’s war tax.

Food prices continue rising as fertilizer supplies from the Persian Gulf dry up and transportation costs soar.

Energy costs—heating oil, natural gas, electricity—are all increasing as the war disrupts global energy markets.

Housing prices: Still the most unaffordable in human history because Wall Street is busy buying up your neighborhood while you’re watching “Epic Fury” on the 6 o’clock news.

Donny Draft Dodger is happy to spend the lives of your kids and drain your bank account to keep you distracted from the ever-worsening fallout from the Epstein files.

But it’s not working. People are furious. The affordability crisis is worse than ever. And no amount of flag-waving can hide the fact that Trump started a war to protect himself, not America.

The Zorro Ranch & The Leaking Truth

The Feds are finally searching Epstein’s Zorro Ranch in New Mexico. You know, the sprawling property where Epstein trafficked victims for decades. The place that should have been thoroughly investigated years ago. Critics are right to ask: why now? Why did it take this long?

Here’s why: In 2019, the Trump administration asked New Mexico to stop its investigation into Epstein’s ranch.

Let that sink in. Trump’s Justice Department actively interfered with a state investigation into Epstein’s crimes. They shut it down. Buried it. Made it go away.

Seems about right for a guy desperately trying to hide his own involvement.

Now, with public pressure mounting and leaks exposing the cover-up, they’re finally searching the property. Better late than never, except for all the evidence that’s been destroyed in the five years Trump’s administration gave them to clean up.

The “Epstein Files Transparency Act”—championed by Thomas Massie, whom Trump is currently trying to primary out of spite—is finally working. The truth is leaking out despite Pam Bondi’s “all hands on deck” attempt to redact the files into darkness.

The allegations are no longer “rumors.” We are seeing unredacted FBI complaints detailing:

New testimony places Trump at Epstein properties during the time period when victims were being trafficked.

Witness statements describe Trump’s predatory behavior toward teenage girls at parties hosted by Epstein.

Court documents reference FBI complaints filed against Trump for sexual assault of minors—complaints that were investigated and then mysteriously buried.

Epstein’s former associates are talking, now that Epstein is dead and can’t retaliate. There’s a list of names. And Trump’s name is at the top.

Pam Bondi is working overtime to keep the remaining files sealed. The Justice Department is fighting every FOIA request. Trump’s lawyers are filing emergency motions to block releases.

But the truth is leaking out anyway. Slowly. Steadily. Inevitably.

The war can’t stop it. The propaganda can’t bury it. The cover-up is failing.

The Republican Party: Legally Required to Kiss Trump’s Ass

The Republican Party would love to talk about anything except the affordability crisis crushing their constituents.

But they’re legally required—by Trump’s ironclad grip on the party—to keep their lips firmly attached to his ass.

They can’t criticize the war even though it’s a disaster. They can’t question the costs even though it’s bankrupting America. They can’t acknowledge the Epstein allegations even though the evidence is overwhelming.

They have to fall in line. Repeat the talking points. Defend the indefensible.

Because if they don’t, Trump will primary them. AIPAC will fund their opponents. The MAGA base will turn on them. So, they march in lockstep, praising Trump’s “strength,” defending the war, and ignoring the crimes. All while their constituents drown in this unaffordable economy, created by Trump’s policies.

Speaking of Republicans who won’t fall in line: Thomas Massie.

The Kentucky congressman has done something almost unthinkable in today’s GOP—he’s championed the Epstein Transparency Act, demanding full release of all Epstein files, and he’s pushed a War Powers Resolution to force congressional authorization for Trump’s illegal war.

Trump is furious. He’s visiting states to campaign against Massie. He’s calling him names. He’s threatening to support primary challengers. Why? Because Massie is doing what every member of Congress should be doing: demanding transparency and accountability.

Trump can’t have that. He needs compliant Republicans who will rubber-stamp his wars and bury his crimes. Massie represents the threat of actual oversight. Of Congress doing its constitutional job. Of Republicans who put principles above party loyalty. That’s why Trump is trying to destroy him.

Some of you may think I sound like a broken record, but hear me out:

The Epstein Class: Everything Wrong With America

The Epstein Class represents everything that is rotting in this country. It’s a tiered justice system that protects billionaire predators while punishing the working class and the poor. Where billionaires commit crimes and buy their way out while regular people rot in prison for minor offenses.

Wealthy men who abuse young women and girls without facing consequences. Who traffic children, rape minors, and walk free because they can afford the lawyers and have the connections to make investigations disappear.

The billionaire-corporate cabal that extracts our time, our labor, and our money without paying taxes. That lobbies for wars that enrich defense contractors while working people pay the price in blood and treasure.

Trump is the Epstein class personified. A wealthy predator who’s spent his entire life buying his way out of consequences, exploiting women, dodging taxes, and using his power to commit crimes with impunity.

And now he’s president. Again. Using the full power of the federal government to protect himself and his fellow predators.

But here’s the thing, Donald: The war won’t save you.

You can bomb all the children you want. You can spend all the billions you want. You can send all the soldiers you want to die in the desert.

It won’t stop the truth from coming out.

F*CK ICE, RELEASE ALL THE FILES!

Please like, share, and subscribe—because when gas is $5 a gallon and bombs are hitting schools, “winning” feels a lot like losing.

— Robert Cain, author of Democracy for Sale: How Corporate Greed Is Corrupting Democracy and Endangering the Planet.