Operation Epic Stupidity:

By Rob C.

Art by David Horsey

TL;DR: Welcome to March 2026, where “Operation Epic Fury” has quickly devolved into “Operation Epic Stupidity.” The Trump administration has dragged us into a war of choice with Iran that is currently burning through $1–$2 billion of your tax dollars every single day. While Pete Hegseth treats the Pentagon like a frat house and Trump is hanging gold drapes, the Straits of Hormuz are closed, gas prices are soaring, and the fertilizer supply chain just evaporated. We aren’t “exporting democracy”; we’re importing bankruptcy at “maximum lethality” for the working class. All for Pete Hegseth’s dick-swinging contest and Trump’s distraction from Epstein files.

Welcome to Operation Epic Stupidity—the war nobody wanted, nobody voted for, and nobody can justify, brought to you by the Trump administration and their traveling circus of incompetent warmongers. If you thought the “Board of Peace” was a scam, wait until you see the bill for the war it’s currently “managing.” We are now deep into a conflict that has no legal standing, no exit strategy, and a rationale that changes more often than Trump’s golf scores after a game.

The “gang of dipshits” currently running the show seems to have forgotten that Iran isn’t Venezuela with a disorganized militia; it’s a mountainous fortress with the world’s 14th-largest military and a nasty habit of hitting back. They’ve already blinded our radar infrastructure in the region and effectively turned the Straits of Hormuz—the world’s most important oil chokepoint—into a “No Parking” zone.

This isn’t just a military disaster. It’s a financial catastrophe. An economic suicide mission. A trillion-dollar distraction that’s destroying American prosperity while lining the pockets of defense contractors and diverting attention from the Epstein files.

The Carousel of Lies:

The administration is currently spinning a web of justifications so tangled even the “interpreters” for Trump’s word salad are giving up. Here is the current leaderboard of excuses:

1. “Iran is days away from a nuclear weapon” - Marco Rubio and Steve Witkoff, despite zero evidence and contradicting our own intelligence agencies.

2. Donald Trump: “They were being very rude to our allies, very disrespectful. And they were days away—maybe hours—from a big, big nuclear problem. I stopped it. Nobody else could.”

3. “Iran attacked our allies” - Pete Hegseth, without specifying which allies or which attacks.

4. “They’re the leading state sponsor of terrorism” - Donald Trump, ignoring that Saudi Arabia funds more terrorism but they buy our weapons.

5. Marco Rubio: “This is about the liberation of the Iranian people and ending the threat to our democratic partners in the region.” (Translation: “Bibi called and I answered.”)

6. Pete Hegseth: “It’s about lethality. We’re re-establishing dominance. You either swing the hammer or you are the nail.”

7. Steve Witkoff: “It’s a necessary stabilization for the global markets.” (Irony alert: the markets are currently on fire.)

8. “God ordained this war” - Various military commanders, because nothing says “rational foreign policy” like invoking divine mandate.

9. “Netanyahu asked us to” - Anonymous administration officials in off-the-record briefings, admitting the quiet part out loud.

Etc.

Burning Down Your Future:

While the “Epstein Class” of predators is busy betting on defense stocks, let’s look at what this “Operation” is doing to your bank account. The conservative estimate for direct military costs is $1.5 billion per day. If Trump “chickens out” by the end of the month and declares a “Beautiful Victory,” we’ll have set fire to $50 billion in March alone.

Let that sink in for a moment.

But the “Maximum Lethality” isn’t just in the bombs; it’s in the ripples. Let’s do some math on the “Trump War Tax” at the pump:

Gas Prices: The Pump Is Draining Your Wallet

Gas prices have spiked since the war started. Let’s do the math on what that actually costs you.

Average gas price before the war: $3.20/gallon (national average, January 2026)

Average gas price now: $4.50/gallon (national average, mid-March 2026)

That’s a 40.6% increase.

US daily gasoline consumption: Approximately 370 million gallons per day

Extra cost per gallon: $1.30

Daily extra cost to consumers: 370 million gallons × $1.30 = $481 million per day

Annual extra cost if prices stay elevated: $481 million × 365 = $175.5 billion per year

That’s $175.5 billion extra that American consumers will pay in gas costs if this war continues and prices stay elevated. That is over $481 million a day sucked directly out of the pockets of working Americans trying to get to work and going straight to oil companies posting record profits.

But wait! There’s more -

Heating oil prices have increased roughly 35%, hitting northeastern states hardest. Natural gas prices have spiked 28%, affecting both heating costs and electricity generation in states that rely on gas-fired power plants, leading to higher electric bills across the country. Add in the spike in heating oil, natural gas, and petroleum-based electricity, and we are looking at an extra $1 billion a day in energy costs alone.

“How does a war in the Middle East affect food prices?” you ask.

The Fertilizer Famine

It gets worse. You can’t eat bombs, and you can’t grow food without fertilizer. Iran and its neighbors produce significant amounts of phosphates and other key fertilizer components. With war disrupting production and shipping from the region, fertilizer supplies have been choked off.

Fertilizer prices were already high due to previous supply chain issues. Now they’re skyrocketing. Farmers facing higher input costs have two choices: absorb the losses or raise prices. To stay profitable, the cost of everything from corn to beef is expected to jump 20–30% by summer. For the average American family spending $10,000 annually on food, that’s an extra $2,000-3,000 per year. Food prices weren’t just “high” because of corporate greed (though that’s a huge part of it); they are now skyrocketing because the “Peace President” decided to play General Lie-Senhower.

America’s Crumbling Infrastructure

While we spend $100 billion on bombs in March alone, here’s what we’re not spending money on:

Crumbling bridges: 43% of US bridges are in poor or mediocre condition.

Failing roads: $420 billion backlog in needed road repairs.

Aging schools: Many still have asbestos, lead pipes, and inadequate ventilation.

Water infrastructure: Lead pipes poisoning children in Flint and hundreds of other cities.

Public transit: Outdated, unreliable, and underfunded in cities across America.

Broadband access: Most rural Americans still lack reliable internet.

But sure, let’s spend $100 billion bombing Iran instead. That’ll definitely make America great again.

Let’s be clear about what this war really is: Pete Hegseth’s dick-swinging contest.

A Fox News talking head with white supremacist tattoos, zero strategic expertise, and a drinking problem is running the Pentagon and making life-or-death decisions about American military deployments.

He wanted to look tough. He wanted to prove that Trump’s military is stronger than Biden’s. He wanted to show the world that America doesn’t back down.

So he pushed for war with Iran. He downplayed the risks. He exaggerated our capabilities. He ignored warnings from actual military professionals who understood that Iran isn’t some third-world country you can steamroll over a long weekend.

And now American soldiers are dying, taxpayers are being bankrupted, and the global economy is teetering on collapse—all because a day-drunk white supremacist wanted to prove his masculinity by starting a war.

Trump’s War of Distraction

Let’s not forget the real reason for this war: Trump needed a distraction.

The Epstein files are leaking out. Public pressure is mounting to release the remaining 2.5 million pages that are full of details about Trump’s crimes. His approval rating is cratering. Americans are furious about affordability. His policies are failing. His administration is in chaos. So, he started a war. Because war dominates the news cycle. War makes presidents look strong. War lets you wrap yourself in the flag and call critics unpatriotic.

It’s the oldest trick in the authoritarian playbook, and Trump is running it because he’s desperate, guilty, and running out of options.

This war was never about national security. It was a war of choice to benefit Israeli Zionist expansion and to provide a smoke screen for the domestic collapse of the Trump brand. Every dollar spent on an F-15 is a dollar stolen from a crumbling bridge, a failing school, or a veteran’s healthcare.

Trump isn’t “Making America Great Again”; he’s making Americans poorer. While your grocery bill doubles, Pam Bondi is likely using the “War Emergency” to ensure the 2.5 million Epstein files stay in the dark.

The boogieman isn’t in Tehran. He’s in the White House ballroom, admiring the drapes while the world burns.

F*CK ICE, RELEASE ALL THE FILES!

Please like, share, and subscribe—because Operation Epic Stupidity is bankrupting America while Trump hides from justice.

— Robert Cain, author of Democracy for Sale: How Corporate Greed Is Corrupting Democracy and Endangering the Planet.