Let’s continue to talk about safety — that elusive little concept Republicans like to slap on every fearmongering campaign ad. They’ll tell you they’re the party of law and order, the protectors of the homeland, the guardians of your future.
Except, under Trump 2.0 and his tech-bro-led deregulation cult (aka DOG-E — Deconstruct Our Government: Everything), you’re not safer. Not even close. You’re breathing dirtier air, eating sketchier food, flying with less oversight, investing in increasingly unstable markets, and sending your personal data into the great unknown — and they’re patting themselves on the back for it.
Let’s break this down.
DOG-E Math: A Masterclass in Fuzzy Numbers
One of the first things Trump 2.0’s DOG-E team did after storming the agencies was brag about “billions in taxpayer savings.” Headlines! Pressers! Victory laps!
But when auditors — you know, people who actually know how to use a calculator — took a look? Yeah… not billions. Not even hundreds of millions.
More like a few million — and even that was suspect.
Turns out, when you fire experts, kill oversight, and turn departments over to guys who list “crypto evangelist” on their LinkedIn bios, the books don’t quite balance. They counted savings that didn’t materialize, assumed costs that never existed, and in some cases literally couldn’t explain the math. Like a bad school project — except the project is the federal government, and you’re the one who fails.
And here’s the punchline: while they claimed to be saving you money, they were costing you way more:
- Food safety crises cost billions in recalls, lawsuits, and healthcare.
- Train derailments and chemical spills? Same deal.
- Cyberattacks made easier by gutted digital security? Jackpot for hackers, nightmare for you.
But sure, let’s celebrate those theoretical savings while the cost of living — and, you know, dying — goes up.
Deregulate Everything, Especially Your Sanity
DOG-E’s motto? “If it moves, deregulate it. If it doesn’t move, privatize it. If it explodes… call it a win for freedom.”
They slashed:
- Air traffic safety programs — fewer controllers, fewer inspections, more chaos at 30,000 feet.
- Food and drug oversight — welcome to the great American experiment in salmonella roulette.
- Nuclear safety regulators — because glowing in the dark is the free market’s way of saying hello.
- EPA protections — if you can’t see the chemicals, why worry?
It’s not about efficiency. It’s about gutting public protections so corporations can cut corners and pad profits — while you foot the bill.
And speaking of footing the bill…
Tariffs, Insider Trading, and Chaos as a Business Model
Remember when Trump started announcing new tariffs like Oprah giving out cars? Steel! Aluminum! Maybe cars next week! Surprise!
Markets plunged.
But wait — what’s this? Just before those announcements, someone placed enormous bets against the stock market. Hyper-specific bets. The kind of bets you’d only make if you had… advance notice.
Gee. Wonder who might’ve had that kind of info.
This isn’t just bad policy. It’s a shake-and-bake financial scam. They create chaos, trade on it, and then walk away with millions while your 401(k) evaporates like truth at a Trump rally.
And they’re doing it in plain sight.
Meanwhile, in Real America…
While Trump and DOG-E play Monopoly with the country, here’s what’s happening outside the Mar-a-Lago bubble:
- Americans are drinking bottled water because their tap is flammable.
- People are getting sick from uninspected food.
- Flights are delayed because there aren’t enough safety staff.
- Sensitive data from public agencies has been leaked — and no one’s sure just how bad it is… yet.
But don’t worry, folks. Those DOG-E bros saved $37 million in “regulatory costs.” That’s like cutting your brakes to save gas money.
“Safety” for Who?
Let’s be crystal clear: Trump and his crew aren’t keeping you safe. They’re keeping themselves safe.
They don’t live near chemical plants or train tracks. They don’t fly coach. They don’t drink public water or rely on Social Security. They’re never the ones caught in the fallout of their own chaos. You are. We are.
And the kicker?
We’re paying for it.
With our tax dollars. With our retirement funds. With our health, our privacy, our future.
This isn’t deregulation. It’s dehumanization — dressed up as freedom, while the same people shouting “government overreach” cash government checks and rig the system in their favor.
Final Thought: The Cost of Cheap Lies
So, when you hear a Talking News Head telling you that Trump’s government is “leaner” and “more efficient,” ask this:
Efficient for who?
Because deregulation didn’t make America safer. It made it cheaper — in all the worst ways. Cheaper food, because no one checks if it’ll kill you. Cheaper flights, because no one’s left to inspect the jet engines. Cheaper labor, because protections are gone.
The deregulation delusion is a con. And like all cons, it only works if you don’t look too closely.
So open your eyes. Look closely. Follow the money. And next time someone says the government should run more like a business, ask yourself: what kind of business do they mean?
Because right now, it’s looking a lot like 3 Card Monty with nukes.