America. Land of the free, home of the brave… unless you’re a protester, a journalist, an immigrant, a whistleblower, or someone who thought the Constitution was more than just a napkin sketch at a Federalist Society happy hour.
Peaceful protest — a core constitutional right — has become an excuse for deportation. Remember when federal officers tear-gassed American citizens so Trump could hold a Bible upside-down like he was casting a spell? Yeah, that was just a trial run for what he plans to do with the military.
Under Trump, the Department of Justice has morphed into a personal attack dog, labeling protesters and activists as domestic threats while ignoring violent threats to judges.
Welcome to Trump’s Imperial Presidency —where due process is “for losers,” court orders are “suggestions,” and the Constitution is basically just that thing you wipe your feet on before storming the Capitol in cosplay.
Trump’s idea of civil rights? Pardoning war criminals and tweeting support for hate groups. He called neo-Nazis in Charlottesville “very fine people,” encouraged police to “not be too nice,” and defended Confederate monuments like they were part of the Founding Fathers’ group chat.
Let’s be clear: if you thought the first season of this political reality show was wild, the reboot is being written by people who watched The Handmaid’s Tale and thought it was a how-to manual.
Due Process? Rights for them – None for you.
Let’s talk prisons—because nothing says “freedom” like mass incarceration without trial. Trump has openly praised El Salvador’s Bukele for his “very nice” prisons. You know, the ones where thousands of men are swept off the streets and tossed into overcrowded hellholes without a single hearing.
Rule of Law? Ha! That’s just legal red tape for strongmen with a tight schedule.
And guess what? Trump wants in on the action. He’s floated ideas about rounding up “gang members” (read: anyone brown, tattooed, or insufficiently enthusiastic at his rallies), and suspending rights in the name of law and order. Because what could possibly go wrong when you give unchecked power to a man who gets his policy ideas from TV crime dramas and lunch with Stephen Miller?
Court Orders? Mere Suggestions for Orange Julius Cesar
Trump’s first term already gave us a preview: ignore subpoenas, defy congressional oversight, and tell the courts to go pound sand. His allies now openly float ideas like invoking the Insurrection Act to deploy the military on U.S. soil—not to protect you, but to control you.
Refusing to accept judicial rulings? Already happening. Pardoning cronies who defied the law? Done. Declaring that presidents should be immune from prosecution, even if they assassinate political enemies? That’s not hyperbole—his lawyers literally argued that in court.
In Trump 2.0, the rule of law is whatever he tweeted at 3 a.m. between Diet Cokes.
Here’s the Greatest Hits of Historical Parallels.
Let’s take a little trip down Fascism Lane, shall we?
Germany, 1933: A populist leader exploits fear, bypasses checks and balances, criminalizes dissent, and calls the press “the enemy of the people.” Sound familiar?
Chile, 1973: Dismantling democratic institutions while promising “order” and “patriotism.” All at the behest of the C.I.A. and our corporate overlords.
El Salvador, 2023: “Lock them all up first, sort out the law stuff later.” Said the self-discribed “Coolest Dictator”.
Authoritarianism doesn’t arrive wearing jackboots. It shows up in a red tie, that says “I alone can fix it,” and tweets through the destruction of democracy.
Things Trump Actually Says
This isn’t speculation. Trump has promised:
To be a “dictator for one day” (but only on “day one”—so generous!). To prosecute political opponents.
To purge the civil service and replace experts with loyalists.
To use the National Guard in American cities like a personal security force.
His allies drafted “Project 2025”—a plan to consolidate executive power and dismantle the “deep state” (translation: workers doing their job keeping you safe or anyone who won’t lick his boots on command).
So yeah, they’re not just violating the Constitution, they’re setting it on fire.
But Don’t Worry—You’ll Might Still Have Rights!
As long as you’re rich, white, male, straight, Christian, own at least two flags, and end every sentence with “Trump 2024,” you’re probably fine. For everyone else? Well, better read the fine print on the Bill of Rights—it’s getting trashed faster than the facts in a Fox News segment.
And even if you’re in the “protected” category, remember: authoritarian regimes don’t stay in their lane. Today it’s immigrants and protesters. Tomorrow it’s you. Ask the Germans in 1934, or the Russians in 2022, or the Venezuelans in 2010.
Warning: This Is not a Drill!
Look, we joke because it’s ridiculous—but this is how rights die: not all at once, but in a thousand ignored court orders, in the whimpers when news organizations cave to rediculous law suits, in the silence when people stop protesting because they’re afraid.
The Constitution is only as strong as our willingness to defend it. Trump 2.0 isn’t about making America great—it’s about making autocracy normal.
Don’t wait for tanks in the streets. The real coup happens in broad daylight, while we’re all laughing, scrolling, or shrugging it off as “just politics.”
NO, we didn’t vote for this!
by Rob C.
Art by Joe Heller