Scum Dog Billionaires:

By Rob C.

Art by Clay Jones

TL;DR: We’re living in an oligarchy where billionaires buy politicians, dodge taxes, and operate by a completely different set of rules than the rest of us. From Elon Musk’s taxpayer-funded “innovations” and his DOGE-fueled destruction of the federal workforce to Jeff Bezos’s gutting of the Washington Post to appease Donald Trump, the message is clear: the law is a suggestion for them and a cage for you. It’s time to stop treating these extraction artists like geniuses and expose the hypocrisy and demand they play by the same rules as everyone else. Tax them, prosecute them, and release all the damn files.

No, I’m not talking about a sequel to the 2008 film Slumdog Millionaire. I’m talking about something far more disturbing and far more real: it’s a live-action reality show we are all currently forced to watch, the depraved behavior of the “Epstein class.”

Not because they’re all connected to Jeffrey Epstein—though let’s be honest, the Venn diagram of “billionaires” and “people who knew Jeffrey Epstein” is basically a circle. I’m talking about the principle that defined Epstein’s entire existence: the belief that wealth and connections place you above the law, above accountability, above the basic social contract that binds the rest of us mortals.

We should be “rightly outraged” by the names trickling out of the DOJ’s ink-stained redaction machine, but let’s be real: the Epstein class isn’t just a guest list. It’s a caste system. It’s a group of people who have spent decades convincing the world that they are “visionaries” while using their wealth to ensure that the standards of human decency and legal accountability simply don’t apply to them.

These “visionaries” have figured out something the rest of us are just waking up to: in America, laws are like luxury goods. If you can afford the right lawyers, the right lobbyists, and the right politicians, you don’t actually have to follow them.

Take Elon Musk, the man who is, depending on the day’s stock manipulation, the richest person on Earth. The narrative tells us he’s a self-made genius, but the reality is a bit more... inherited. The son of a South African emerald mogul whose family history is a masterclass in “alignment” with the darkest forces of the 20th century, Musk made his bones with the “PayPal Mafia”—a group of South African expats, including the institution-busting Peter Thiel, who figured out how to digitize the very banking systems they now despise. Musk didn’t “create” Tesla; he used $400 million of your taxpayer money to push the actual founders out and take the credit. If that loan had failed, we would have been the ones holding the bag while he tweeted from a private jet.

Then came DOGE—the Department of Government Efficiency—which turned out to be less about “efficiency” and more about a wrecking ball hitting the lives of thousands of federal workers. Under the guise of “saving money,” Musk and his crew disrupted vital programs for average citizens while quietly mining the data of the very people they were “optimizing.” As it turns out, the “savings” were a myth, but the data harvesting was very, very real. He took over Twitter in a transaction that functioned as a $44 billion dumpster fire, turning what was once a global town square into a sanctuary for white supremacy and bigotry. He pays almost zero in personal taxes, yet he plays a featured role in the Epstein files. It’s not a business model; it’s a hostage situation.

And then we have Jeff Bezos, the man who thinks “Democracy Dies in Darkness” is a business plan rather than a warning. Bezos has perfected the art of union-busting and consumer data harvesting, but the cherry on top of the turd was the “Melania” puff piece—a blatant bribe to Donald Trump dressed up as a documentary. Rather than supporting the Washington Post, an institution meant to hold power to account, he proceeded to gut it to ensure it wouldn’t interfere with his sweetheart deals with the administration.

Let’s talk about how this scam works.

The Two-Tiered Justice System (Spoiler: You’re on the Bottom Tier)

When you or I get caught speeding, we pay the ticket. When we owe taxes, the IRS comes knocking—with interest. When we break the law, we face consequences. Novel concept, right?

But for the Epstein class? Different universe entirely.

According to ProPublica’s investigation, the 25 richest Americans paid a “true tax rate” of just 3.4% between 2014 and 2018. Meanwhile, the median American household paid 14% in federal taxes.

Jeff Bezos—yes, that Jeff Bezos, whose wealth increased by $99 billion during that period—paid a true tax rate of 0.98%. Less than one percent.

Let me put that in perspective: If you bought a coffee this morning and paid sales tax, you contributed a higher percentage of your wealth to society than Jeff Bezos did during the years he became one of the richest people on Earth. But sure, tell me again how we can’t afford to fund schools or fix roads or provide healthcare.

It is a profound insult to every American who pays their taxes and follows the law that these elites are allowed to operate in a vacuum of accountability. They benefit from our infrastructure, our workers, and our legal protections, and then they deny the public any claim to that wealth while hiding behind “special privilege” redactions. We don’t need more “innovation” from billionaires who are immune to subpoenas. We need to tax the elite, strip away their immunity, and hold them to the same criminal standards as anyone else.

F*CK ICE, RELEASE ALL THE FILES!

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— Robert Cain, author of Democracy for Sale: How Corporate Greed Is Corrupting Democracy and Endangering the Planet.