Author: Rob C

There is an old saying: “Accuse your opponent of that which you are guilty.” If the modern American Right had a mission statement, this would be it—stitched onto every red hat, engraved on every gold-plated Trump steak knife, whispered into the ear of every Fox News host before their nightly hysteria-fest.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the finely-tuned machinery of conservative outrage. It is a delicate art, the ability to hyperventilate over the most asinine, inconsequential nonsense while simultaneously pretending not to notice—or care—when their own side burns the country to the ground.

A Tan Suit and a Terrorist Fist Bump

Remember the time President Obama wore a tan suit? If you don’t, congratulations on having better things to do with your life. But for the professional pearl-clutchers of the Right, this was the apocalypse in a Brooks Brothers ensemble. “UNPRESIDENTIAL!” they shrieked, as if Ronald Reagan hadn’t once worn a tan suit himself. And let’s not forget Michelle Obama’s arms—oh, the horror! America nearly collapsed under the weight of her biceps, as conservative pundits gasped, “This is not how a First Lady should look!” Meanwhile, their own party would soon embrace a gold-digging, plagiarism-prone former lingerie model, but I digress.

Her Emails (And Other Imaginary Crimes)

Hillary Clinton’s emails! Say it three times in front of a mirror and Sean Hannity appears, frothing at the mouth. A private email server? UNFORGIVABLE. An existential threat to democracy! But when the entire Trump administration—including Ivanka, Jared, and Steve “Looks Like He Lives Under a Bridge” Bannon—used private emails, suddenly it was a whole lot of meh. When classified documents were found scattered in Mar-a-Lago like confetti after a fascist wedding? “Presidential privilege!” And when Trump himself actually bragged on tape about sharing military secrets with his golfing buddies? “Witch hunt!”

Sleepy Joe and the Great Right-Wing Gaslighting

Joe Biden stumbles over words? Unfit for office! Trump speaks like a malfunctioning chatbot with a head injury? “That’s just his style.” Biden takes a well-deserved nap? “HE’S TOO OLD!” Trump falls asleep at his own trial? Crickets. Biden bikes for exercise? “Weak!” Trump waddles down a ramp like a toddler learning to walk? “Slippery shoes!” You see the pattern. Whatever the Left does is grounds for hysteria. Whatever the Right does is either ignored, excused, or twisted into a narrative where they are the real victims.

The Art of Hiring the Worst People Possible

It takes a special kind of talent to repeatedly fill your administration with the worst human beings imaginable. Trump, however, was an overachiever in this department. He staffed his White House like he was casting a reality show called Dumb and Dumber. Unqualified, unethical, and often straight-up criminal, his appointees made the Keystone Cops look like MI6. A wrestling CEO as Education Sec. to body slam the department. Defense Sec? Fox News weekend host sounds about right, EPA? Former Oil Lobbyist, no problem. And let’s put our billionaire donors in charge of everything because, yeah, they know what’s good for the working class.

And when these people inevitably screwed up—big time—the response was as predictable as it was pathetic. “DEI” “Fake news!” “Signal? Nothing to see here! Or the classic, “What about Hunter Biden’s laptop?!” Because nothing says “we take responsibility for our actions” like pointing fingers at the guy who’s just reporting the facts.

Conclusion: The Great Republican Mind Trick

The modern Right has mastered the art of selective outrage and strategic amnesia. Every misstep by a Democrat is blown up into a five-alarm fire, while their own party’s crimes are memory-holed faster than you can say “alternative facts.” It’s not hypocrisy; it’s a carefully choreographed performance of bad faith, designed to distract, deflect, and exhaust the public into submission.

But at some point, you have to ask: Are they playing dumb, or is that just what they are?

Ahhh, America—the land of the free, where the government is bad, but corporations are just good old-fashioned capitalism at work. That’s the fairy tale we’ve all been sold, anyway. You see, for decades, Americans have been conditioned—no, let’s be honest, brainwashed—to believe that “big government” is the root of all evil, while massive, monopolistic corporations swallowing the economy whole are just “the free market” doing its thing.

And who exactly is pushing this narrative? Why, the corporations themselves, of course! With their endless cash reserves, corporate behemoths have done an exquisite job of making government look like an inept, bloated monster while they quietly vacuum up wealth, power, and, most importantly, influence. They own the media that tells you what to think. They track your every move online, mining your data to manipulate your behavior. And thanks to the Supreme Court’s disastrous Citizens United ruling, they can spend limitless amounts of money to sway elections, ensuring that their interests—not yours—are the ones that actually matter.

And what do we, the people, do? Well, we’ve been expertly trained to chant, “Government bad!” while ignoring the fact that the real threat to our freedom isn’t a public library or a national healthcare program—it’s the corporations that own our politicians, rig our economy, and dictate the limits of our so-called “choices.”

Here’s the dirty little secret: Government is the only institution powerful enough to rein in corporate overreach. It’s the only entity with the legal authority, resources, and sheer scale to stand up to the monopolies and oligarchs who are busy turning democracy into a high-priced auction. But when voters have been conditioned to see government itself as the enemy, they inadvertently hand the reins over to the very forces that see them as nothing more than dollar signs.

So, next time you hear someone railing against “big government” while conveniently ignoring “big business,” ask yourself: Who benefits from that belief? Because I guarantee you, it’s not the everyday American. It’s the billionaire in the boardroom, laughing all the way to the bank while you argue about how “the market will regulate itself.” Spoiler alert: It won’t. And unless we snap out of it and start demanding a government that works for us instead of corporate interests, we might as well start referring to America by its new name: The United States of Amazon.

Once upon a time, back in the 1950s and 60s, American students actually understood how their own government worked. Crazy, right? That’s because civics was a mandatory part of the school curriculum. Every high school graduate knew what the three branches of government were, how a bill became a law, and—brace yourself—even their own rights as citizens. This knowledge led to an era of unprecedented civic engagement. We changed the Constitution multiple times, passed the Civil Rights Act, expanded voting rights, and made actual progress. The people, armed with knowledge, held power to account.

Of course, that was a nightmare scenario for the ruling elite. An informed, engaged public? Perish the thought! Thus began the slow but deliberate dismantling of civics education in America. It didn’t happen overnight—no, that would have been too obvious. Instead, it was a death by a thousand cuts. First, civics was lumped in with history, then watered down to the point of irrelevance, and finally, in many states, disappeared altogether.

Coincidentally (or not), this decline in civic education lines up neatly with a rise in ignorance about basic governance and an erosion of democratic participation. Just look at voter turnout rates today compared to the mid-20th century. People don’t vote when they don’t understand how the system works, and guess who benefits from that? The same people who pushed to gut civics education in the first place.

This wasn’t an accident. The right-wing playbook has always been about control—control of information, control of education, control of the narrative. If people don’t know how laws are made, they won’t complain when those laws favor corporations over citizens. If they don’t understand the Constitution, they won’t fight back when their rights are eroded. Instead of churning out critical thinkers, our education system now specializes in producing obedient workers—just literate enough to run the machines but not informed enough to question why they’re being exploited. If it’s not on TikTok – it didn’t happen.

And where has this intellectual neglect hit the hardest? Unsurprisingly, the states with the lowest academic scores are the ones most resistant to proper civics education. Mississippi, Louisiana, West Virginia—places where underfunded schools, outdated textbooks, and deliberate curriculum sabotage keep entire populations uninformed. It’s no wonder these states consistently rank at the bottom in educational achievement and, surprise surprise, tend to vote against their own interests, but hell burning books is fun.

Ah, the great American political tradition: whenever someone suggests enacting policies that benefit the majority of people, the pundits and politicians clutch their pearls and gasp, “We must move to the center!” Because, you see, nothing says “reasonable governance” like meeting an extremist movement halfway.

Here’s the problem: the right-wing in America has spent decades sprinting so far to the extreme that the so-called “center” now sits somewhere just shy of Ayn Rand’s fever dreams. If we keep moving the goalposts any further, we’ll end up debating whether or not children should be allowed to work in coal mines again (oh wait, some states already are).

Meanwhile, let’s look at what the actual majority of Americans support:

• Universal healthcare? Over 60% of Americans favor a Medicare-for-All system.
• Common-sense gun control? Background checks and assault weapon bans enjoy support from upwards of 80% of voters.
• Raising the minimum wage? Nearly 70% of Americans support a $15 minimum wage—or more.
• Higher taxes on billionaires? A whopping 70% believe the ultra-rich should pay their fair share.
• Protecting Social Security? Over 80% of Americans, including a majority of Republicans, do not want benefits cut.
• Abortion rights? Most Americans believe in a woman’s freedom to choose.

If these policies are so wildly popular, why do we keep hearing that Democrats must “compromise” by watering them down or abandoning them entirely? The answer is simple: the right-wing elite (and their corporate donors) don’t want policies that empower the working and middle class. So, instead, they peddle faux-populist rhetoric—screaming about immigrants, “woke culture,” and trans kids—while handing out tax cuts to billionaires and gutting worker protections.

This isn’t conservatism anymore; it’s fascism with a marketing team. A party that attempts to overthrow elections, bans books, strips bodily autonomy, and scapegoats marginalized groups isn’t one to meet in the middle. And yet, the media and milquetoast centrists still wring their hands about “polarization,” as if one side isn’t actively trying to dismantle democracy.

To be a centrist today is to be complicit. It’s the political equivalent of watching someone set fire to a house and saying, “Now, now, let’s hear both sides.” History will not be kind to the moderates who stood in the middle of the road while democracy got bulldozed.

The people have spoken. They want progressive policies. They want fairness. They want democracy. And they’re tired of being told to compromise with extremists. Moving to the “center” isn’t moderation—it’s cowardice.

Free speech was nice while it lasted. But between Trump’s lawsuit fetish, corporations using the courts as a bludgeon, and a Supreme Court itching to dismantle press protections, the First Amendment is looking less like a right and more like a privilege—for those who can afford the legal fees.

Trump’s Legal Tantrums: Suing the Press into Submission

Donald Trump has never met a journalist he didn’t want to sue. He hates New York Times v. Sullivan—the 1964 Supreme Court ruling that makes it hard for public figures to sue for defamation unless they can prove actual malice (i.e., the journalist knowingly lied or was recklessly indifferent to the truth). Sullivan protects journalists from being dragged into endless lawsuits just for reporting facts.

But Trump wants to bulldoze it. He’s openly said he’ll “open up our libel laws” if given the chance, making it easier to sue the press into silence. His strategy? Drown news outlets in frivolous lawsuits until they’re too broke or too scared to cover him critically. It’s not about proving defamation—it’s about punishing reporters for doing their jobs.

SLAPP Suits: Corporations’ Favorite Muzzle

Trump isn’t the only one trying to weaponize the courts against free speech. Enter Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation (SLAPPs)—where billion-dollar corporations sue activists, journalists, and advocacy groups to shut them up. The goal? Not to win, but to intimidate and bankrupt critics into silence.

Take Energy Transfer Partners, the company behind the Dakota Access Pipeline. In 2017, they sued Greenpeace for a laughable $900 million, calling them a “criminal enterprise.” Their real crime? Organizing protests. ETP filed their lawsuit in N. Dakota where Oil is the biggest employer and 75% voted for Trump. They won $600 Million Dollars from the jury.

SLAPPs turn the First Amendment into a financial death trap: Speak out, and prepare for a legal battle you can’t afford.

The Supreme Court’s Slow Strangulation of the Press

And then there’s the Supreme Court, where certain justices are practically begging for a chance to shred press protections. Clarence Thomas has already said he wants to overturn Sullivan, claiming it has “no basis in the Constitution.” If he gets his way, every politician, billionaire, and CEO with a bruised ego will have a green light to sue the press into oblivion.

If the Court guts Sullivan, investigative journalism will become a legal minefield. Reporters will think twice before exposing corruption, and the public will be left with sanitized, lawsuit-proof coverage.

The Future: Free Speech for the Rich

The message is clear: Free speech is only free if you can afford the legal fees. Trump’s lawsuits, corporate SLAPPs, and a conservative Supreme Court are turning the First Amendment into a pay-to-play system. Say something inconvenient, and you’ll be sued into silence.

The First Amendment isn’t dying—it’s being slowly, methodically strangled in courtrooms across America. And the people killing it have the audacity to call themselves defenders of “freedom.”

Ah, the mythical “golden age” promised by Donald Trump and his devoted acolytes—a shimmering mirage always just beyond the horizon, perpetually one more catastrophe away. When will it finally arrive? Well, let’s take a look at the likely timeline of its glorious manifestation.

First, the economy needs to crash—spectacularly. Of course, this will be spun as a cleansing fire, a necessary purge of the silly things like social security or medicare. The billionaires, naturally, will be just fine, having moved their wealth offshore long before the little people noticed the flames.

Next comes the dismantling of the government. Why fund schools, roads, or emergency services when we can funnel that money into tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy? After all, real patriots pull themselves up by their bootstraps—who needs roads when you can afford a private jet? And if you’re too poor to survive without the social safety net, well, maybe you just weren’t meant to make it in Trump’s America. Evolution, baby!

Of course, no golden age is complete without the wholesale destruction of healthcare. Millions of his own supporters will lose access to medical treatment, but at least they’ll have the sweet, sweet comfort of knowing they owned the libs on their way to an early grave. Who needs insulin when you have unlimited thoughts and prayers?

And then war with Canada. Why? Because why not. Their universal healthcare and polite society are an affront to American greatness. Plus, Trudeau once looked at him funny. The justification will be simple: “Canada has been very unfair to us. Very, very unfair. Frankly, a disaster.” And it’s just a line a map, with that, the northern front will open. Don’t worry Mexica, you’re next.

And then, the pièce de résistance: Trump crowns himself President for Life. Why settle for four more years when you can have forever? American democracy was fun while it lasted, but let’s be honest—it’s so much easier when one man makes all the decisions. Elections are messy, after all. This will be hailed as a historic triumph, celebrated with gold-plated statues and mandatory loyalty parades.

So, there you have it. The Trumpian Golden Age—where the economy burns, the government collapses, millions die without healthcare, democracy crumbles, and we finally go to war with our neighbor. All of this, of course, in the name of making America great again.

Isn’t the future bright?

It was a good run, America. The whole “rule of law” experiment had its moments, but as Trump 2.0 has made abundantly clear, that’s over now. Why bother with courts, judges, or pesky legal precedents when you can just declare, I decide what the law is and move on? It’s efficient, really—why waste time on due process when raw power is so much faster?

Enter Attorney General Pam Bondi, Trump’s ever-loyal enforcer, who has seamlessly transformed the Department of Justice into the Department of Retribution. Under her watch, the DOJ no longer concerns itself with quaint notions like justice; instead, it now functions as Trump’s personal grievance machine, hunting down critics, enemies, and anyone who once looked at him the wrong way.

And let’s talk about the latest innovation in authoritarian overreach: the DOGE invasion (that’s Department of Government Enforcement, for those keeping track of Trump’s ever-expanding police state). This new, unofficially official task force—staffed with US Marshals, D.C. police, and anyone else willing to follow unlawful orders—has been storming into nonprofit organizations that aren’t even government entities. The reasoning? Who needs reasoning? The courts may have ruled against these raids, but when did Trump ever let the judiciary get in the way of a good power trip?

So here we are: the President ignores court orders, the Attorney General runs the Justice Department like a mob syndicate, and rogue federal enforcers are smashing through doors in direct defiance of the law. But don’t worry—if you’re a billionaire donor or a Trump loyalist, you’re completely safe. Everyone else? Better hope you’re not next on the list.

Democracy was fun while it lasted. Welcome to the era of law-by-decree

Well, well, well—turns out the whole “president, not a king” thing was just a pesky detail for the history books. Trump 2.0, in his latest act of self-coronation, has decided that federal judges are merely an inconvenience, their rulings little more than suggestions to be ignored at will. Laws? Checks and balances? Cute concepts, really, but in the divine kingdom of Trump, only one voice matters: His Royal MAGA-ness.

Federal judges, those poor souls still clinging to the idea that the Constitution means something, have issued rulings against his latest legal abominations. But Trump, ever the enlightened autocrat, has responded with a simple decree: I decide what the law is. And like clockwork, his Justice Department—now staffed exclusively by sycophants who treat the rule of law like an outdated fad—marches in lockstep to enforce whatever whims spill forth from their orange overlord.

Take, for example, his latest passion project: targeting political opponents with sham prosecutions. The slightest whiff of dissent is now enough to land you on the DOJ’s priority list. Dared to criticize His Excellency? Expect an indictment. Worked for the previous administration? Might want to check if exile is still an option. Meanwhile, he’s been gleefully attempting to overturn President Biden’s pardons, because nothing says ‘banana republic’ quite like a leader rewriting history to fit his personal vendettas.

At this point, Trump isn’t just bending the law—he’s treating it like his personal chew toy. And why not? Who’s stopping him? Certainly not the GOP, which now functions more like a royal court than a political party, with senators and representatives eagerly playing the role of court jesters, clapping and nodding on cue.

So here we are, America, at a moment of decision. Do we roll over and let the coronation continue? Or do we remember that this country wasn’t built for kings, and it sure as hell wasn’t built to be ruled by a guy who thinks the Constitution is just an annoying speed bump on the way to absolute power?

Time to grab your pitchforks. Metaphorically, of course… for now.

In the grand tradition of ‘drain the swamp’—which, as it turns out, was just a rebranding of ‘flood the swamp with even bigger alligators’—Trump 2.0 wasted no time in making America great for himself again. In a flurry of executive orders, billed as the “Rescinding of Harmful Executive Orders” (because irony is dead), one particularly convenient item was quietly erased: Executive Order 13989.

For those unfamiliar with that little nuisance, EO 13989 was a Biden-era rule that required federal appointees to disclose gifts, investments, and other financial entanglements—essentially a “Please Let’s Not Be Brazenly Corrupt” clause. But Trump, a man who’s never met a conflict of interest he didn’t want to monetize, saw it differently. Why, after all, should his friends, appointees, or—let’s be real—his own family be burdened with transparency? In a single stroke of his Sharpie, the pesky requirement vanished, ensuring that anyone in his orbit could accept lavish gifts from foreign oligarchs, Wall Street power players, or, say, a Saudi prince with a penchant for golf resorts.

But that was just the warm-up act. Next on the chopping block were the inspectors general—those meddlesome watchdogs tasked with keeping the government accountable. Fired, purged, removed, disappeared into the political ether—whatever the preferred term, Trump made sure they were out. Their replacements? Well, let’s just say that “fox in charge of the henhouse” doesn’t quite capture the absurdity of the situation. Perhaps “wolves writing security protocols for the sheep farm” is more apt.

And what, exactly, was the goal of all this? Well, aside from the pure joy of undermining democratic safeguards, Trump’s real mission was clear: unrestricted self-enrichment. With the gift-reporting requirement gone, his inner circle could now enjoy the perks of governance with zero accountability. No more pesky questions about foreign investments. No more irritating ethics complaints when a government contract just so happened to benefit, oh, let’s say, a struggling Trump property. And certainly no more barriers between the presidency and the kind of personal profit that would make a third-world dictator blush.

The message was unmistakable: the government wasn’t here to serve the people—it was here to serve Trump, Inc. And with watchdogs declawed, transparency erased, and accountability turned into a quaint relic of a bygone era, the second Trump term was shaping up to be a masterclass in self-dealing.

Democracy? Ethics? Rule of law? Cute concepts, really. But as Trump 2.0 demonstrated in record time, those things just get in the way of a really good grift.

Written by Robert Cain

Art by Mike Luckovich