What is conservatism, exactly?
Depending on who you ask, it’s either a noble defense of American tradition… or a never-ending tantrum about the modern world. But let’s break it down.
Some say it’s about preserving tradition. Others think it’s about limited government. To hear Fox News tell it, it’s about loving your country so hard you hate half the people in it. Sounds great, right? Very official. Very flag-pin-on-the-lapel energy. But when you peel back the bumper stickers and catchphrases, what conservatism actually stands for is pretty simple: power for the few, distraction for the many, and a deep, abiding fear of change.
So let’s take a peek behind the slogans.
The Myth of Small Government
Conservatives love to say they believe in “small government.” It’s right there on the box, like a marketing label: Now with 20% less regulation! But let’s be real — nobody actually wants small government. What people want is effective government.
Can you name a federal regulation that would make your life better if it was repealed?
You know what small government looks like? It looks like crumbling infrastructure, underfunded schools, no response when disaster hits, and a public health system so broken that a preventable virus can kill over a million Americans while half the country argues over whether masks are a liberal conspiracy. Can you name a federal regulation that would make your life better if it was repealed?
And the kicker? Conservatives don’t even practice what they preach. They slash welfare programs, but balloon military spending. They want government out of healthcare, but all up in your uterus. They hate “big government” right up until it’s handing out tax breaks to billionaires, bailing out banks, or deploying federal agents to tear-gas protesters. That’s not small government. That’s government for them, not you.
Fiscal responsibility? Please. Republicans haven’t balanced a budget since cassette tapes were popular. The national debt exploded under Reagan. It skyrocketed under Bush. Trump inherited a growing economy and still managed to tack on nearly $8 trillion in new debt — before COVID even entered the Signal chat. But sure, tell me more about how Democrats are bankrupting America because someone on food stamps bought a box of cereal.
Family values? You mean the party of hush money payments, family separation at the border, and Supreme Court justices who think their religion should dictate your uterus? Got it.
“Family values” is another one of those phrases that sounds great on paper. Who doesn’t love families? Who doesn’t want values? But in conservative politics, “family values” usually means one thing: control. Control over women’s bodies. Control over what kids learn in school. Control over who gets to be a family in the first place.
It’s always “about the children”… until they’re actually born. Then it’s: No paid maternity leave. No subsidized childcare. No universal pre-K. And God forbid you need food assistance — suddenly your “choice” (forced) to have a baby is your financial burden to carry alone.
They love to shout “adoption is the answer!” but how many of them are lined up to be foster parents? Spoiler: not many. The foster system is overloaded, underfunded, and full of children the “family values” crowd never seems to mention once the headlines move on.
Conservatives are too busy banning books and drag shows to fight for actual child safety. Their “values” begin and end with controlling what people can do, say or believe.
Personal responsibility? Sure. Unless we’re talking about gun violence, climate change, corporate pollution, Wall Street bailouts, opioid manufacturers, tax-dodging billionaires, or… well, anything that actually requires responsibility. Then suddenly, it’s everyone else’s fault.
Now, let’s talk about what conservatism has actually done for America. And… that’s the sound of crickets.
Meanwhile, everything that makes this country better — you know, the stuff that actually improves people’s lives — was brought to you by progressives, liberals, and civil rights activists who were told, at the time, that they were ruining the country:
Social Security Medicare, Civil Rights Act, Voting Rights Act, Minimum wage, The 40-hour workweek, Public education, Interstate highways, defeated the Nazis, (You’re welcome).
Child labor laws? Brought to you by the people who don’t think 8-year-olds belonged in coal mines.
Conservatives didn’t fight for those things. They fought against them. Tooth and nail. And they lost — because progress always wins, eventually.
Political Violence — Let’s Talk Facts
Let’s address the elephant in the room (and no, not the GOP mascot — though close): political violence in America overwhelmingly comes from the right.
We’re not talking about protests or mean tweets. We’re talking about actual violence — threats, plots, attacks, assassinations. The FBI and DHS have consistently reported for years that the biggest domestic terrorism threat in this country isn’t Antifa or BLM. It’s right-wing extremism.
Storming the Capitol, Plotting to kidnap a sitting governor, Mass shootings with manifestos echoing Tucker Carlson talking points, Threatening school boards, election workers, and librarians? All coming from the same direction.
And yet, somehow, we’re told that the real threat is teachers who say “gay” in a classroom or a Target display during Pride month. It’s a classic bait-and-switch — distract the public with manufactured outrage while ignoring the armed men in tactical gear who think democracy is about who has the most ammo.
So if conservatism isn’t really about facts, or fiscal responsibility, or actual values that help people… what is it?
It’s a vibe. It’s a culture war. It’s fear, dressed up in patriotism and packaged nightly by Fox News and sold by billionaire puppet-masters who know that as long as you’re busy blaming immigrants, drag queens, or Colin Kaepernick, you’re not asking why your rent’s too high, your job has no benefits, and your insulin costs more than your car.
This Isn’t Left vs. Right. It’s Bottom vs. Top.
See, progress isn’t a left vs. right issue. It’s bottom vs. top. It’s us — the 99% — vs. the handful of people hoarding the power and the wealth while they tell us to fight each other over bathroom signs and books in school libraries. The culture war is a smokescreen. It’s easier to get you to hate drag queens than ask why your wages haven’t gone up in a decade. It’s easier to fear immigrants than question why billionaires pay less in taxes than teachers. That’s not an accident — it’s strategy.
But here’s the thing: most people — conservative, liberal, independent, undecided, uninformed, or just tired — want the same basic things. Safety. Opportunity. Dignity. A fair shot. A better future for their kids. And we can get there — but not if we keep falling for this divide-and-conquer scam.
So next time someone tells you “conservatives stand for traditional values,” ask them which ones. Because if your values depend on who you get to exclude, oppress, or ignore — they’re not values. They’re insecurities with a flag sticker slapped on them.
America doesn’t need to go back. It needs to grow up.
And that’s a value worth standing for.
by Rob C
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